Turnabout Fangirls
by Osiris-Lee
Summary: We all remember those flowers on Edgeworth's windowsill, right? Well, Oldbag can't be the magenta-clad prosecutor's only fan, now can she? Written to remedy the lack of Oldbag. Mild Edgeworth/Phoenix. Very, very mild. So mild a child could handle it.


**Turnabout Fangirls**

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If Phoenix felt awkward snooping around Edgeworth's office while the prosecutor was there, glaring at them, Ema appeared oblivious. Among the plush, velvet sofa and opulent furnishings, the defence lawyer was feeling out of his depth as he fingered his way over a chess-set that likely cost more than he'd made in the last two months. His shoes felt dirty on the lush, burgundy carpet and if he bent his knees a little, he could feel the thick flooring give a little, still springy despite constant use. Far better than anything he had, both at home and in the office. Perhaps the prosecutor's office paid for their staff's rooms, and the higher one was in the ranks the more their 'comfort salary' rose. After all, who could afford floor-to-ceiling bookshelves and a desk in solid mahogany when you were paid pittance? Then again, maybe that was just him.

"Stuck between a rock and a hard place: Love, Wendy." Ema had moved to the window to catch the view, only to be distracted by an outrageously large bouquet of flowers sitting on the sill. "Wendy, huh. Perhaps that's Edgeworth's fiancé?"

The sharp clack of papers tapped on wood made Phoenix flinch. Edgeworth wasn't glaring at him when he glanced back, somehow Phoenix was sure he would have been, but the glower on the prosecutor's face seemed to radiate off his entire body. Like when he'd been thrown a particularly biting piece of evidence in court, Phoenix could see the other man's hands trembling, and could imagine the face: teeth bared, eyes so wide you could see the whites around the entire iris and were worried they might just pop out of his head. Wendy. He cringed at the thought. Wendy Oldbag.

"Aah... I don't think so." He said, reaching back to mess with his spiky hair arrangement. Perhaps it was just better to leave Ema in the dark, what with Edgeworth looking more and more like a bomb about to go off with every second.

"Oh, look, a Steel Samurai! 'When –'"

"C'mon, Ema, time to head back to the carpark!"

-

With Lana's case a complete mess from the moment he heard of it, Phoenix would later admit that he really hadn't given Oldbag's little obsession with Edgeworth a third thought. The second thought would have been in the taxi on their way to the police department and involved a mixture of pity and amusement, but after that the brief incident had completely flown his mind. Why should it stay? Those flowers could have been old and fake, it wasn't as if he'd be able to tell anyway, and despite the gaudy arrangement they'd failed to stick in his memory.

It really came as a surprise, then, when he was assaulted by pollen and petals on next entering the already effeminate office of one Miles Edgewood.

"What the - ?" He gave a spluttering cough, spitting out a stray petal that had crept into his mouth as it hung open in shock. The office looked more like a florists than anything else, and he had to brush aside some draping shrubbery that had taken residence over the door before he could inch any further inside. Even with his magenta suit and cravat, Edgeworth was easy to spot among the debris and new wrinkles were visible even from where Phoenix was standing. He moved the bouquets about roughly, as if they were particularly vial baskets of waste, or hot to the touch. The petals, it seemed, were suffering and beginning to litter the floor. Vaguely, Phoenix thought that they'd need to be cleaned quickly, before Edgeworth's stomping about left them staining the carpet.

"Edgeworth... I just – " The loud thump of a particularly garish display cut Phoenix off, and even without the other man glaring at him, he was starting to get the point. "Um... with the case today. You were pretty shaken up, and I just wanted to..."

"The case is closed, Wright." Clipped and sharp like pruning scissors, Edgeworth simply pulled another mess of petals from his desk and plonked it down in the middle of the chessboard. "Unlike you, I have work to do."

"Aah... Guess I'll leave you to it, huh." Phoenix said slowly, watching Edgeworth shove another bouquet onto the already overcrowded sill. Somehow, he didn't think pointing out that flower-arrangement wasn't the normal line of work for prosecutors. "Well... if you need to talk or something."

"Yes, I'll call, now would you just go?" Edgeworth snarled as a sprig of daffodils tried to push themselves up his nose. It was a blatant lie, but seeing the man so flustered, Phoenix couldn't bring himself to call out his customary 'Objection'. After all, they'd both had a hard week and with memories brought up that made Edgeworth testy, perhaps it was just better to leave the man alone for a while. Especially since he wasn't leaving anymore.

Satisfied, Phoenix pressed his hand to the door. He'd begun steeling himself for the long walk back to the office in the unpredictable February weather – his umbrella was an antique, its broken spine too much of a hazard to be allowed outside, rain or no – when he was abruptly stopped in the corridor.

"Ieeeee! Is Mr Edgeworth there?"

"Edgeworth! Edgeworth! Would you object for us, pleeeeeeease?"

"Back off whippersnappers!" The harsh, unmistakable tones of one Ms. Oldbag pierced through the rest of the crowd. "Edgey-wedgy is mine!"

With throngs of Edgeworth fangirls, all around Ema's age or so, grumbled in protest and pushed at the former security guard from behind, almost sending the woman straight into Phoenix's face. Time had failed to improve her looks, her age showing despite the flowers she kept in her tightly bunned hair. Squinting eyes almost hidden by sagging brows, the skin on her face resembled melting wax as it clung to the bone. Her breath smelt like decay as she glared up at him, nose scrunching as her adoring expression morphed into one he'd seen all too often: rage.

"You! You and your nosing around, you were bothering my dear Edgey, weren't you! You kids these days, you should know when an important man is busy! As if he'd have time to talk with you! When I was a kid we always left our betters in piece, knowing they were doing what they were doing for the good of us all - " It was all Phoenix could do to hold back a groan. Leaving Edgeworth in peace, were they? One look at the eager faces, some of which were glaring at him, told him all he needed to know. Edgeworth was most definitely in need of help.

The crowd did not let him go without a fight. With a sea of fangirls between him and the elevator, Phoenix's first instinct was to flee. No amount of objections could sway this biased crowd, and with a great deal of shoving and pushing, the disgruntled attorney found himself once again within the wash of petals and pink. Edgeworth just glanced up at him as Phoenix locked the door, face carefully blank.

"They're back again."

"I'd say so, yeah." Out of breath, Phoenix looked more like he'd fought a pack of monkeys to get back inside. His normally pointy hair was poking up all over the place like the greenery on a pineapple. The trademark red tie that left a vicious slash of colour down his shirt was crumpled and askew , pointing harshly to the left and his suit, while it was normally pretty shabby by Edgeworth's standards, now looked very much as though it would need patching. Or burning. "How long's this been going on?"

"Since the case finished." His eyes once again trained on his paperwork, a moment passed between them before Edgeworth sighed lightly, and carefully closed the files. He slipped them into his briefcase. "I can't work with that noise. Let's go."

"Wha... what?" Looking as confused as he often did in court, Phoenix simply gaped at the other man. It wasn't like Edgeworth to finish a day so early, even with distractions loitering right outside his door. The look in the prosecutor's eye wasn't helping him either; he had the gleam there that only spelt trouble for Pheonix's well-thought plans. Well-thought bluffs. He wasn't bluffing now though. "There's no way we can get through."

"Amateur." The lock sounded particularly deadly when Edgeworth turned it, but Phoenix wasn't given the luxury of objecting. The magenta-clad man had taken a firm hold of his elbow as he steered them both out of the chief prosecutor's office and into the corridor. For a moment you could have heard a pin drop. The two men, lost in a sea of oestrogen, stared at the flock of fangirls. The fangirls, consumed with delight, stared at the two men. The moment broke.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Even Edgeworth flinched as the sheer volume of the noise. One could envision the metaphorical hearts in many of the girl's eyes, while Oldbag displayed her long dormant security guard skills and kept the most adamant fans at an arm's distance. Phoenix felt a little faint, faced with this calamity again so soon, but Edgeworth held his arm firm and simply waited for the chaos to die down a little. This left Phoenix with the distinct feeling that he might have become fodder for the fangirls. Perhaps Edgeworth intended to invoke their wrath and then shove the attorney in their direction so they could rip him to shreds, while he himself ran gleefully to the elevator and escaped unscathed. Or maybe he intended to use Phoenix as a human shield, something for the girls to smack into as they tried to molest their favourite, grey-haired prosecutor. What happened, though, no-one except you, dear readers, would have expected.

With all eyes on them, Edgeworth suddenly grabbed Phoenix's tie and crashed their faces together. It wasn't one of those accidental, perfect moments of comprehension that the stories talked about. No, this was a crashing of teeth and a grimace before they simply stood there, lips just pressed together, and then parted. No tongue, no intimate embrace, and definitely no clarification. Just a smirk from Edgeworth and, in the now silent and still corridor, the prosecutor dragged a particularly stunned Phoenix into the elevator.

For a few minutes there was absolutely no movement from the once rabid array of fangirls. All stood stock still, shocked beyond a belief. All eyes were wide, some mouths were open and on the leathery face of Edgeworth's greatest fan, a few tears lost themselves amongst the wrinkles.

"That... was so hot." Came the hushed, almost reverent whisper from one girl at the back. The response was explosive. Squeals just as loud as before almost shattered the windows, with girl's clinging to each other and tittering at just how _cute_ that spiky-haired man looked in Edgeworth's strong, manly (and pink) arms. They were the perfect couple, they decided, with Edgeworth bringing that other guy into his delicately elegant world and with the blue-suited man – whoever he was – surely melting the ice around the young prosecutor's heart.

Amongst the chaos, an old security lady was left on her hands and knees, looking at the heavens with tears in her eyes. "Edgey... how could you leave me?"

-

As the morning papers were delivered the office, Phoenix had to stifle a yawn. He wasn't much of a morning person, and while he usually woke himself up with a morning jog or a particularly strong mug of coffee, something had kept him in bed that extra fifteen minutes that morning. He hadn't been able to place the feeling exactly, and had chalked it up to overwork and stress. A sleep-in would leave him refreshed, and he'd convinced himself. As he took a sip of his morning drink, he sat down behind his desk and flipped the paper open. Like a hose turned on at full blast, coffee sprayed straight from Pheonix's lips onto the paper before him, leaving a sticky, brown mess all over the report and left him scrambling to mop up before it seeped into his pants.

"Edgeworth and Wright: In agreement at last?" The papers boasted, with a photo of yesterday's 'encounter' plastered on the front page. He hadn't seen her in the crowd but somehow, just somehow, Phoenix knew that a certain junior 'scientific investigator' was to blame for this one.

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**A.N:** Oh lordie, what have I done?

Alright, first piece of Phoenix Wright fanfiction. Unfortunately, it's being used partially to get myself back into writing for me, rather than for class. The Edgeworth/Phoenix parts wern't actually part of the original plan, but I had to get them out of there somehow!

But overall, I don't think it's too shocking? I guess the plot's a bit overused... not that I've read something like this, but I have a feeling it is. Ah well x_x

Inspired by Oldbag's gifts on the windowsill of Edgeworth's office in case five of the first Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney game, DS version. Just finished it today - please, no spoilers for the next games! D:

Just over 2k words, and completely un-betaed. Sorry for any mistakes!

All characters belong to their makers, rather than me :3

My sister talked me into writing this... so this one's for you, Kat :3 3


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